1 PARENTING ADVICE: February 2014

Tuesday 25 February 2014

Healthy Ways of Altering Lying Habit in Children




Parenting:Parent scolding his child- Lying Habit in children
                                     Image courtesy of David Castillo dominici/FreeDigitaPhotos.net




Altering the habit of lying in children can be very tasking; you’ll need a lot of patience in order to succeed. It’s pertinent to understand that lying constitutes a part of children’s developmental process, and so, it fades as maturity springs. Children lie for several reasons, one of which is to escape the consequences of their action, but the worst of all, are children who lies sustainably over little things that wouldn’t even inspire consequences. 

In order to alter the habit of lying, it’s advisable to take into consideration the age of the lying child as well as the circumstances surrounding his reason. The frequency of his lies must also be observed in order to know if he’s a chronic liar or not. Be it as it may, the good news is, you can actually get your child off the claws of lies.

Here are healthy ways of altering lying habit in children:

  1. Cultivate a cordial relationship with your child
In order to successfully alter your child's lying habit, it’s advisable to cultivate a cordial relationship with him. The absence of a cordial relationship with your child can instigate the concept of hiding useful informations from you. Naturally, children are most comfortable with the idea of opening up to trusted individuals than people they aren’t comfortable with. What inspires their lie is the consciousness that they’ll be severely dealt with, once the truth is discovered.

Your relationship with your child should provide the assurance that revealing hidden informations to you will not result in losing your trust and affection. It will be rewarding if you assure him that you won’t be upset by the truth regarding his actions. Whenever your child opens up to you, instead of pinning blames on him, help him understand the consequences of his behavior as well as educating him on urgent need to break ties with such behavior. As a quick follow up, hail his bravery with regard to the truth.


 2. Make yourself a clear example
Children are specifically good at observing the behaviors of their parent. You happen to be your child’s primary and most direct influence, and so, beseeching him to be truthful at all times while you forbid doing same, will be counter productive. He can choose to lie comfortably owing to the fact that you are into it too. If you must succeed in altering the habit of lying in your child, practicing what you preach is mandatory.
 
 3. Avoid labeling your child a liar  
The consequences of labels includes, though, not limited to robbing a child of healthy self esteem; it’s even capable of exposing his dignity to avoidable invasion. Because he lacks the ability to wrestle with the consequences of this label, a child may chose to accept the situation he finds himself and consequently settle comfortably with the notion that he is actually a liar. It's advisable to concentrate on bringing out the best in your child than labeling him.

 4. Match each lie with punishments
You just can’t keep sparing the rod in order to be labeled a good parent. It’s extremely essential to match your child’s lie with corresponding punishments. The essence here is to discourage the idea of lying. If your child’s lies aren’t matched with a befitting punishment, how do you intend to impede him from lying? How will he understand your position regarding lies? It’s your responsibility to discipline your child so his life can be perfectly shielded from the consequences of lying.

5. Acquaint your child with the relegation that's associated with lies
Your child must be aware of the verity that people with lying habit doesn’t have a place in the midst of well cultured individuals. You must let him know that with time, he’ll be rejected everywhere unless he breaks ties with the habit of lying.
Read Also: Anger: Utterances That Will Destroy the Future of Your Child


Frankly, the habit of lying can stain a child permanently, but it’s possible to evade this by altering it on time. 




Practical Tips on How to Deal With Your Child's Anger




Rewarding Ways of Contending With Your Child's Anger
                                  Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Anger in children is inevitable; it represents a sort of protest against intolerable situation or treatment. There are several ways of handling anger in children, but, some are more effective than others. It’s however crucial to comprehend that unchecked anger in children can inspire deliberate wildness that’s capable of giving birth to disastrous consequences, and so, parents must not blink owing to these reality.

Quite like adults, children do get angry, but they must be made to understand that anger isn’t a welcomed standard, if not, they may with time, consider it a potent tool to get whatever they want. Reasonably, a normal child must get angry, and it’s OK to overlook the minor reactions, but don’t share any form of understanding with your child regarding his right to make any form of trouble in the name of anger. 


If he’s not comfortable with any situation or treatment, your attention must be sought. It’s solely your responsibility to arrest issues, not his. Understandably, children’s ability to handle frustrating situations is naturally poor, that’s why they usually resort to anger and violence. You must be extremely careful about the privileges you bestow on your child if heart wrenching experience isn’t what you crave. Extending to children, the freedom of behaving the way they want can be likened to giving a gun to someone with mental disorder, and this, parents must comprehend.

 
Here are practical tips on how to deal with your child's anger
 

1. Ensure your child isn’t provoked

As always, anger is usually sparked by one unacceptable treatment or the other. In order to contend with your child’s anger, it’s essential to start by taking into consideration, those temptations that are capable of triggering his anger. Even the Bible warns about provoking your children. In order to impede the possibility of triggering his anger, ensure you don’t employ inappropriate words while communicating with him. Don’t try to hold him accountable for your error or that of his siblings like some parents do.

Try as much as possible to ensure that basic needs are in place, yes, this is one unchecked cause of anger in children. Hunger and absence of other necessities that are capable of making life worth living can cheaply inspire frustration and anger. Refrain permanently from the concept of promoting a particular child at the expense of another, rather, give them equal treatment, so you won’t encourage prejudice.
  Read Also: Healthy Ways of Altering Lying Habits in Children

 2. Make threats

There’s no wisdom behind the concept of negotiating with a child who prides in using anger to get what he wants. Whenever he’s up to it, put up a face that speaks loud about your stance regarding his action. Ensure you don’t smile or flaunt an appearance that will accentuate you in the light of fear. Don’t get into his way if he’s a grown up child, but, let him know that they’ll be inescapable consequences come what might.

Note that angry children usually pay attention to their parent’s face, mood, and response while behaving questionably. In this regard, it’s healthy to respond habitually with a moody face in order to express your displeasure. Those that are good in their game usually detect their parent’s mood, and if they observe any discouragement, they swiftly retreat skillfully to evade punishments. When this happen, don’t fall in swiftly, rather, sustain your mood for a while, before letting go.

 3. Match misbehaviors with punishments

My uncles used to visit and even spend some days with us at holidays, when we were much younger. In an extensive observation, i noticed that others were very lenient, while a particular one was a clear disciplinarian with zero tolerance regarding mutiny. We were free to behave the way we wanted in the presence of other uncles, but we practically behaved ourselves whenever our strict uncle paid a visit. Truth is, we all understood the implication of misbehaving when he is around.

  
A child who's conscious of your history of matching his offenses with corresponding punishments won’t mess with prescribed standards. It’s mandatory to make yourself a no nonsense parent, and with time, your child will have no other option than embracing discipline. You can’t spare the rod and spoil the child, that isn’t love! History bears me witness that most wayward adults today, whose life style is both a threat and shame to the society, were unnecessarily pampered by their parents. Again, match misbehaviors with appropriate punishments.
 
 4. Have him advised

Children aren’t usually conscious of the implications that's associated with negative behaviors, so, it’s essential to see to it that they are well advised about the possible consequences of their behaviors in future. Make it clear to them that you aren’t against them in any way, rather, you are ensuring their safety later in life.


It’s however crucial to note that the main promoter of anger in children happens to be their inability to solve problems skillfully, yes, they practically lack the skill and experience to handle situations, that's why they usually resort to anger. Ensure that rewarding problem solving skills that can boost their maturity are shared with them.


Frankly, raising temperate children requires dedication, patience and unwavering resolve to strangle indiscipline at all cost. Raise them right and you’ll be proud you did.




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