1 PARENTING ADVICE: February 2014

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Healthy Ways of Altering Lying Habit in Children




Parenting:Parent scolding his child- Lying Habit in children
                                     Image courtesy of David Castillo dominici/FreeDigitaPhotos.net




Altering the habit of lying in children can be very tasking; you’ll need a lot of patience in order to succeed. It’s pertinent to understand that lying constitutes a part of children’s developmental process, and so, it fades as maturity springs. Children lie for several reasons, one of which is to escape the consequences of their action, but the worst of all, are children who lies sustainably over little things that wouldn’t even inspire consequences. 

In order to alter the habit of lying, it’s advisable to take into consideration the age of the lying child as well as the circumstances surrounding his reason. The frequency of his lies must also be observed in order to know if he’s a chronic liar or not. Be it as it may, the good news is, you can actually get your child off the claws of lies.

Here are healthy ways of altering lying habit in children:

  1. Cultivate a cordial relationship with your child
In order to successfully alter your child's lying habit, it’s advisable to cultivate a cordial relationship with him. The absence of a cordial relationship with your child can instigate the concept of hiding useful informations from you. Naturally, children are most comfortable with the idea of opening up to trusted individuals than people they aren’t comfortable with. What inspires their lie is the consciousness that they’ll be severely dealt with, once the truth is discovered.

Your relationship with your child should provide the assurance that revealing hidden informations to you will not result in losing your trust and affection. It will be rewarding if you assure him that you won’t be upset by the truth regarding his actions. Whenever your child opens up to you, instead of pinning blames on him, help him understand the consequences of his behavior as well as educating him on urgent need to break ties with such behavior. As a quick follow up, hail his bravery with regard to the truth.


 2. Make yourself a clear example
Children are specifically good at observing the behaviors of their parent. You happen to be your child’s primary and most direct influence, and so, beseeching him to be truthful at all times while you forbid doing same, will be counter productive. He can choose to lie comfortably owing to the fact that you are into it too. If you must succeed in altering the habit of lying in your child, practicing what you preach is mandatory.
 
 3. Avoid labeling your child a liar  
The consequences of labels includes, though, not limited to robbing a child of healthy self esteem; it’s even capable of exposing his dignity to avoidable invasion. Because he lacks the ability to wrestle with the consequences of this label, a child may chose to accept the situation he finds himself and consequently settle comfortably with the notion that he is actually a liar. It's advisable to concentrate on bringing out the best in your child than labeling him.

 4. Match each lie with punishments
You just can’t keep sparing the rod in order to be labeled a good parent. It’s extremely essential to match your child’s lie with corresponding punishments. The essence here is to discourage the idea of lying. If your child’s lies aren’t matched with a befitting punishment, how do you intend to impede him from lying? How will he understand your position regarding lies? It’s your responsibility to discipline your child so his life can be perfectly shielded from the consequences of lying.

5. Acquaint your child with the relegation that's associated with lies
Your child must be aware of the verity that people with lying habit doesn’t have a place in the midst of well cultured individuals. You must let him know that with time, he’ll be rejected everywhere unless he breaks ties with the habit of lying.
Read Also: Anger: Utterances That Will Destroy the Future of Your Child


Frankly, the habit of lying can stain a child permanently, but it’s possible to evade this by altering it on time. 




Anger: Utterances That Will Destroy the Future of your Child



                                                                           
Parenting: Parent uttering negative words
                                    Image courtesy of imagerymajestic/FreeDigitalPhotos.net


           

One careless utterance made with a broken heart can ruin the future of your child and even defeat the very essence of investing your hard earn resources, time and energy in a bid to furnish his life. Inspired by the heat of provocation, parents usually exceed parental lines by uttering negative words that are capable of destroying the future of their children later in life.

Reasonably, watching a child you labored rigorously to ensure his or her life isn’t a mess, rain insult on you before your very face can be extremely humiliating. But, it's extremely essential to understand that certain acts of anger may enjoy a level of justification but quite unhealthy in the real sense. Understandably, children can be awfully mutinous, but, it’s unwise to destroy their future in the name of anger.

  Here are utterances that will effortlessly destroy your child’s future:

  1. Your children shall do same to you

Certainly, this type of statement doesn’t spring in response to a child’s positive behavior, it springs habitually in response to behaviours that are certainly in conflict with generally accepted standards, but, i wish to acquaint you (parents) with these facts:

  • Like it or not, the child in question and his children will represent your future and they’ll always be recognized as your offspring.

  •  While other grandparents will be remembered for great strides, you’ll be remembered as someone who destroyed the future of your offspring.
  • Will these perfectly represent the legacy you are hoping to leave behind? Will you be proud of being remembered as a great grand parent who knew nothing about endurance; or may be someone who consciously ruined his family with his own hands?
Frankly, you can’t get it right by going against tested and trusted standards prescribed by the Bible. A well cultured child who was raised based on the prescribed standards of the Bible can’t inflict pains on his parent even in the face of justifiable reasons. You are expected to take responsibility of your actions if you fall into the category of parents who made the mistake of sparing the rod - thereby spoiling the child.

Nonetheless, if your child’s action is fueled by external negative influences (which can’t be left out), as a reputable fellow hired by God on trust to oversee the grooming of that child, you are expected to employ other effective ways of punishing him with regards to his negative actions. Speaking negative words upon his life isn't the only way to punish him, and this you must comprehend.

 Read Also: Parental Favoritism – The Heart Wrenching Realities You Should Expect
  2. I cause the works of your fingers
This implies first and foremost, destroying the works of your own fingers. Nurturing him to a matured age coupled with good health; good education; shelter and a host of other extreme benevolences is obviously the works of your own fingers which you must first destroy before stretching for  his own. Your tongue is furnished with enormous power that’s quite capable of destroying the future of your children, and so, you must be very wary of it. You are supposed to be your child’s prime promoter, so, i see no wisdom behind the concept of destroying him owing to any reason.

Endurance and forgiveness constitutes also, your indebtedness to him. Employ other ways of punishing your children, not with words that are capable of subjecting their future to unbearable misery which will also break your heart in a long run. Despite how you look at it, being a parent can at times be humiliating, it’s such a sorrowful and inevitable status we must all resume at a point in life. It will be rewarding if you'll be thoughtful enough to ignore your child’s disrespectful attitudes and, rather, concentrate on molding him, who knows? He may even come to his senses someday.

 3. Woe betide you

It will betide him, but, will it be okay by you when you see the status of other people’s children inclining while that of your child will be constantly declining? Will the sight of your suffering child impress you for any reason? You shouldn’t say that to him in the name of anger. It's imperative to swiftly align yourself with the clarity that your responsibility regarding him excludes entirely, the concept of coercing him to extinction.

Destructive words that spring from the mouth of parents can be very potent; they aren't only capable of subjecting the future of a promising child to shambles; they are equally capable of coercing a child into permanent misery and even cripple generations forever. You'll certainly be guilty of extreme parental ineptitude if you bluntly fail to break ties with the concept of lashing your children with your tongue.
Read Also: Effective Ways of Helping Your Kids Succeed Academically

If you've for any reason made negative utterances you shouldn’t have made regarding your child, kindly reverse them swiftly even in the absence of his apology.  

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